you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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