dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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