So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
