Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
