I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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