i just had sex bonerless
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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