Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
