Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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