Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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