I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
