so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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