dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
