oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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