I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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