Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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