He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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