so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
