I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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