I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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