my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
