You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
