Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
