We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
