I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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