U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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