I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
