Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
