is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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