Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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