He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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