yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
