Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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