I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
