i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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