I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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