I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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