Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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