he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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