i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
