I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
