My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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