omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
