why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
