Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
