all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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