he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
