I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
