does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize