You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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