It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
